I feel there may be something strange

that lives inside in my head.

It creeps around my ventricles.

I know it wants me dead.

Oh, God! I feel it coming.

Please just let it happen soon!

I'm tired of staying up all night

floor-planning for my tomb.

Surprise! It sears my skin, my eyes.

I stayed awake too long.

Goodbye, then, immortality!

I knew I'd get it wrong...

How funny, here without my flesh,

pared down to sun-bleached bone.

I am the man I thought I was;

dead now, and all alone.

As Autumn breathes its early sigh,

your color starts to wean.

Adorning the procession;

xanthophyll and carotene.

Handcrafting

all of my

word-a-day

bird-watching

calendars,

years in advance.

I'd like to

know what

the birds I observe

just observing me

think of

my plans.

Here, while

I'm planning, I'll

pencil in:

somebody's

headache will

ease off for good.

Then, a few

years and some

change from now, I'll

make a note about

caskets:

"Birch wood?"

The second plastic button

had fallen; no right eye,

and when the children saw,

the smallest knelt and sighed.

He crafted a new eyeball

(he used a crayon he'd broken),

and the rabbit saw with depth,

now given soul, newly awoken.

She saw the sun shine brightly

(but not for too much time).

The wax prosthetic dripped,

and from both eyes, she cried.

Pockmarked, picking at his skin

with slender hands,

themselves disfigured at the nail

by another nervous habit.

And yet another, the clenching

of his jaw, has thrown it

slightly askew, its protrusion

rather clear in profile.

Thirty-two bones stained

by black coffee and Red cigarettes.

One habit broken of the two, but

a craving for the latter ever present.

He's made the switch;

an eleventh aluminium phalange

passed back and forth

between hands.

Below the neck:

a heart; two lungs; et cetera;

and not much to speak of,

otherwise.

Flesh, blood, bone.

Organ, tissue, cell.

Illusion of a "self",

crafted temporarily

from a knotted thread

of memories and impulses,

which masquerade as thoughts

he had all on his own.